Maintain A No Drama Policy

Simply put, if you have an issue/disagreement/conflict with another person on your team, talk to them first. Do your best work it out 1:1 before deciding to talk about them with others (i.e. your peers, team members, work besties, etc). And if you share this way of working with everyone on the team as a collective expectation, you’ll likely be amazed at how quickly team dynamics can improve.

Gossip and factionalism erode the cohesion of high-performing teams. I’ve experienced this earlier in my career as a leader of two teams that had great leaders that didn’t quite gel. They each had their respective direct reports that they were close with, and the team as a whole never came together as well as it should have. Unchecked, such behavior metastasizes over time, and it slowly poisons the foundational trust and cohesion. I now promote a culture policy: If you have an issue with someone else on the team, talk to them first. Don’t complain to others on the team. That’s not helping anything, that’s simply adding drama. Collectively discuss and agree on a team culture where it’s expected that when you have an issue with someone, you engage directly with them first. Of course, if that’s still not working, help facilitate finding common ground.

I’ve come to adopt a more coaching style for escalations that could be resolved directly. I’ll typically ask “Have you talked to them directly about this issue you’re having? I’m happy to jump in but I’d prefer that you work together to resolve things directly”. It goes any number of ways, but often this conversation unlocks a larger, needed connection to clear things. It’s wonderful when it happens, and I’ve witnessed it can often turn passive/adversarial peer relationships some of the best work friendships/partnerships.

*True story (multiple times over).